Lately I've been remembering a dream I had when I was younger. That dream was to become a doctor, which then turned into becoming a Naturopathic Physician (long story). Then marriage came, and then of course children. Now it's 7 years later and I can't even remember what life was like before this.
Occasionally, I'll see people out and about and I'll wonder what kind of choices brought them to where they are today, and are they where they want to be? I mean, we seem to have this picture in our mind's eye of what our life will be like when we "settle down". But how many of us are really living the life of our teenage vision? Is it a change of priorities? Or maybe, more often than not, we get so caught up in the everyday stuff we lose sight of the experiences that are really important.
While going through some of these thought processes I came across a biography of Dr. John R. Christopher (a.k.a. Dr. Christopher, founder of the School of Natural Healing). John was born and raised in Utah and has an incredible life story of pioneering herbal medicine. As I was reading his biography I was so touched by the life of this man. He had so many health challenges as a child, and also watching his mother die painfully from complications of diabetes and Bright's Disease, that it inspired within him a deep passion to heal others. His life was one of incredible sacrifice and love.
When I had finished reading I had so many emotions welling up inside me I just began sobbing. At that moment Dave walked by and, noticing my uncontrollable tears, asked me what was wrong. I didn't have an answer, I had no idea! I just spent the last hour reading such an uplifting story what in the world would cause such a reaction?!
By the time I settled down I had realized, very painfully, what was going on. This man was living his purpose and I could feel it with every word I read. And it was painful to me because I felt like I wasn't living mine. I've felt like for so long I've just been going through the motions and I haven't been living with purpose. So often I feel an imbalance between my daily life, with all it's routines and habits, and an elusive dream of some extraordinary way of living. Almost daily I feel a constant nagging of a "higher purpose", as if it's trying to tell me that my way of life doesn't match my reason for living.
There are so many things that inspire me that I know I can't possibly do them all and still give 100% to my family. Maybe that's why I kinda feel like a deer in the headlights with no action toward anything. I'm fearful I will start down that road and before I know it I'm neck deep in some crazy project and I've lost sight of what was really important to begin with.
My question is..."How can we live with purpose and not lose sight of our priorities?"
Maybe it's discovering our real purpose to begin with? Maybe our purpose should be centered in our priorities?
Maybe that's why some purposes are stronger at certain times in my life than others. Just like the seasons that come and go, we each have our own seasons in life. These seasons bring with them their own priorities and purposes. It's important to remember not to look on another person's season and wish it for your own at the moment. But to intently discover it's purpose and to trust that, as we do our best, we will accomplish all that we can and be.
I would love to hear any thoughts or insights on the matter so feel free to share!
